The Still Between Stars

Hello dear reader. I have something a bit different for you today. A topic that you may not know is part of my life unless you follow me on TikTok or know me in other contexts. I am chronically ill & disabled. This has been a hardship I have had my whole life, collecting diagnoses (some accurate, some not) and I am finally close to seeing a specialist for three of the illnesses I have. I do not have a single thing, but a cluster of different things, all brought on by a genetic component, age, and who knows what else. Lately I have been trying to get my chronic pain managed better and figuring out my gastrointestinal issues. I'm on a very strong antibiotic currently, getting off a pain drug that was worthless to me, and starting something I feel the effects of in a positive way already. I've been subject to blood draws every 3 months, one to three doctor's appointments a month, X-rays, MRIs, years wasted on misdiagnosis, medical misogyny, medical gaslighting, medical neglect, and a large sum of my finances going to herbal and homeopathic supplements, vitamins, braces, and medical grade compression. Recently I had to go through another procedure for biopsies of another organ, while coming off the first pain management drug I've had in over a year with bad withdrawal side effects.

Self-portrait of Rachel Beeson depicting masking of pain and other symptoms. Charcoal and chalk pastels on Black cotton-rag paper. Student work. 2021

I am writing all this to tell you that if I do not post for some time, despite my weekly goal, I am otherwise occupied with my medical issues. I am not asking for resources, advice, or sympathy. We all have things we have to accept and deal with in life, and this is one of the crosses I bear. My protagonist is stubborn and so am I. We'll both keep going.

By the way, I hope you all have checked out chapter five of The Last Light We're Lent. The story is really starting to take shape, and the unnamed protagonist is feeling the effects of her isolation. Best wishes and health to each of you <3